Happiness x Willpower

"Dear, what's gotten into you lately? You've been so helpful." – My wife last night.

As someone who cares deeply about living an intentional life and who also struggles with willpower (hence building GritGrow), I'm on a continual quest for philosophies, frameworks & tools that give me energy and alignment. In this spirit, I'd like to share a couple of recent podcast episodes that have really resonated and proven to have durable effects over the past 21 days or so.

1) Tim Ferriss Show ep. 692 with Arthur C Brooks

Covers practical philosophies & frameworks for living a happy life.

Takeaways:

• Brooks says that happiness consists of enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning. Brooks breaks these pieces down beautifully into practical bite size pieces that feel intuitively "truthy".
• Happiness and unhappiness are not really opposites; they can coincide. A great way to manage unhappiness, or "low affect", is with regular exercise.
• Friendship matters. My oldest friend, who I hadn't talked to in a while, reached out and asked if I had listened to this very episode because it also deeply resonated with him. Since friendship is a cornerstone of happiness -- the kind of friendship that is honest, prioritized, and rooted in well wishes for the other person -- we decided to commit to connecting once a week to discuss the bigger topics and smaller tactics of life. These chats are enjoyable (an element of happiness!), and also have a big impact on helping us internalize these valuable lessons and put them into practice.

2) Huberman Lab: "How To Increase Willpower & Tenacity"

Covers the latest science in the fields of psychology and neurobiology relating to willpower and tenacity.

Takeaways:

• While there is still debate in the field of psychology around willpower and whether or not it is a finite resource, the field of neuroscience seems to have a consensus. There is a particular part of the brain that is especially active when willpower is expressed to overcome resistance or temptation. The structures in the brain involved are collectively called the Anterior Midcingulate Cortex (MCC). The size of one's MCC can physically change in relation to how often / how deeply it is used, like a muscle. There seem to be correlations with longevity and continued use of the MCC. One hypothesis is that this so-called center for willpower is the source of one's will to live. The healthiest elders continue to learn and grow no matter their age, and that means pushing past their comfort zone.
• The neural-circuitry for habits seems to be distinctly different from the MCC, although similar molecules can be involved (e.g. dopamine). The fact that willpower and habits light up different parts of the brain makes perfect sense -- habits are done on autopilot whereas willpower is a manual override of one's default behavior in favor of the hard choice. Managing habits (starting good ones / quitting bad ones), on the other hand, is MCC territory.
• The MCC is also highly active when certain behaviors are taken to extremes, for example with eating disorders which can be a seriously deadly mental health matter.
• There's a high correlation between autonomic health and strength of one's ability to express willpower. Autonomic health is charged up by things like proper sleep, diet, and exercise.
• For me, having the awareness of a physiological structure in my brain that literally shrinks or grows depending on how I act in the face of a choice to do an easy/pleasurable action vs. a difficult/worthy one, has been a powerful shift.

A common theme in both of these episodes is satisfaction. It's so easy today to get instant gratification. But by forgoing the effort, we deprive ourselves of the satisfaction that Brooks argues is an essential element of happiness. Huberman gives a great guide for growing the willpower required to say no to the easy decisions and take on the challenging ones that grow us.

Here's to working hard on worthy work.

—gritgrow

Nov 8, 2023